This week marks the ten-year anniversary of the first time we got married and the three-year anniversary of the second time we got married.He wasn’t too keen on the idea of me writing about our divorce. He said, “I just don’t see what our divorce has to do with breastfeeding.” Everything, Joe. As Joe read this before I posted it, he made a few comments, so I have included them alongside my story.
I am the youngest of three girls; my two older sisters are eight and eleven years older than I am. So, at just twenty-two, I felt I was mature enough to know I had met the man of my dreams. Everyone told us it was too fast; we should slow down. For as long as I could remember, I wanted to be a mama. I didn’t physically love being pregnant, but I loved being pregnant. To be brutally honest, I didn’t really care what Joe was doing or feeling. I had everything I ever wished for and that was all that mattered. Joe was working night shifts, so I dealt with most of the evening and overnight fussiness by myself. Obviously, my memory of these first months is pretty blurry. Joe was working at night and sleeping during the day.
Six months later, Joe and I eloped to Sedona, Arizona. We hurt a lot of family with our frivolous disregard for their feelings, traditions, and dreams for us. I have always loved babies and I just knew I would have a little girl. Again, sadly, I don’t remember thinking or worrying much about him.
When Lucy was about three months old, I tried to go back to work.
I didn’t know what I was doing and she wasn’t taking a bottle.
I tried my best; I was just frustrated and exhausted by the time we got to you.) Bottom line, I asked Joe if I could just quit my job.
He said, “Whatever you think is best.” This was a pivotal moment in our marriage. I insisted on staying home because I was used to always getting my way. In order to pay our bills, Joe started picking up overtime.He worked four to five 12-hour night shifts a week.Joe was home with a screaming, hungry baby when I was working.Joe will tell you that I went crazy and I couldn’t handle working.I will tell you that Joe couldn’t handle taking care of Lucy when she wouldn’t eat.(Joe’s response: I honestly tried my best: running the shower, vacuum cleaner as white noise, Moby wrap, slow dancing with Lucy.